The pain is real!

Three signs of emotional neglect in childhood:

1. Not being taught or modeled how to set boundaries and say no. This can make you feel like your needs and feelings don’t matter as much as everyone else’s. I’m an adult in my forties and my boundaries are still not respected. I’m in therapy to learn how to set boundaries and make people respect them. I am also learning to prioritize myself and my needs as I tend to forget about myself and put everyone else in a higher priority.
2. Being overly criticized for everything you do or say, including your weight and eating habits. Not being allowed to openly express uncomfortable emotions. You were taught that these kinds of feelings were “bad” and needed to be avoided. This has been a recurring issue from childhood to the present. I decided that I wasn’t going to stay quiet anymore. What did that do? I’m now labeled as the difficult one and the one who always has a contrary opinion. Also note that I have struggled with a eating desorder in the past because of the judgment.
3. If you ever did express your emotions, you were dismissed, shamed, or invalidated. Just received a call from one of my parents who had a political conversation with my sibbling and said, we bet that you would disagree with us, which was correct. But calling me to tell me you made bets on my answer, kind of feels like you are laughing at me and calling me difficult again.

Why am I talking about childhood neglect on a fibromyalgia blog? Because trauma is one of the causes of fibromyalgia. I’m not saying that childhood neglect is the sole cause of my fibromyalgia. I have experienced many other traumatic events in my life that most likely contributed. I’m discussing childhood neglect because understanding what you have been through and seeking therapy is a crucial step in improving your well-being and managing your chronic illness. There is no cure, but embracing your true self does make a difference.